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My parents worked pretty hard to raise my sister and me well. They did not have the best examples to follow. When they were older, and started raising a family of their own, they did the best they could.
With the exception of the ban on ‘rock music’, I do not have any problems with any of their decisions. Hey, I missed out on the greatest era in music, the eighties!
It is okay dad, I am not too bitter! (wink wink)
There is one thing my parents taught me that I have followed to this very day. Julie and I are trying our hardest to instill this one value into the lives of our children as well.
Just tell the truth!
If I really wanted to find out the depth at which my parents could discipline, all I had to do was tell a lie. There was absolutely no room for it in our home. My mom’s favorite scripture out of the bible on the subject, while I was growing up, was the following:
all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone
No, I do not sit around in fear that if I tell a lie I will burn in hell forever. My mom was trying to make a point, though. Mom and dad both knew that pain and misery follow liars around and the consequences of such behavior spread to those around us. The greatest violations man has thrust upon other men were covered in lies and deception. Both slavery and the Holocaust were founded upon the lie that Jews and African Americans were not 100% people.
Trust is the currency of all relationships. – Andy Stanley
I want my girls to understand; without honesty successful relationships cannot exist. When they get older and start to date I want them to expect honesty. If they have lived their whole lives in an environment filled with the truth then they will be instantly turned off by any relationship with lying in it.
Because of our desire to see our daughters be in healthy relationships we hold them to very high standards. They have lost privileges for an entire year as the consequence for dishonesty.
Even if they tell the truth just to avoid the long horrible conversation that may result if we find out they lied I am happy.
Eventually truth will find its way into the light. I want my kids to understand that the end results are always better if we shine the light of truth on ourselves rather than hoping someone else does not.
“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
That last quote sums it up perfectly. I finally ended my relationship with a niece for that very reason. Too many lies over too many years.
It is a painful thing to do but I can understand why.
Hi James
One other and related vital rule is:
Do what you say you are going to do.
Everytime that I have violated this rule, either in business or my personal life, it has caused serious problems.
Now before I promise to somebody,that I am going to do something I ask myself: Am I going to say this just to temporarily appease somebody or am I really committed to doing it?.
Quite often I determine that my promise would be either appeasement or procrastination. Then I keep my mouth shut. Wish I had learned this earlier in my life.
Dave
Excellent addition, Dave!
I want my kids to be honest and my kids REALLY need me to do what I say I will do. They are aware of the quality of my ‘doing’ as well, lol.
a lovely post and I do so agree.
I once faced a ban on rock music as well, about ten years before you, based on it’s potential degrading influence.
Upon quoting some upbeat lyrics for them (from “Hold Your Head Up” by Argent) my parents decided I might be able to discern the good from the bad. The ban was lifted.
I’ve been contemplating lyrics ever since.
Yeah, I try to take that stance with my kids now. I am A LOT more concerned with what the song says over what it sounds like.
Luckily none of my daughters like ‘scream-o’ music or there would be a problem, lol.
Thanks for the comment.